First reading: Sir. 3: 2-6, 12-14
“For the Lord sets a father in honor over his children; a
mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.
He who honors his father atones for sins; he stores up riches who
reveres his mother. He who honors his
father is gladdened by children, and when he prays he is heard. He who reveres his father will live a long
life; he obeys the Lord who brings comfort to his mother. My son, take care of your father when he is
old; grieve him not as long as he lives.
Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the
fullness of your strength. For kindness
to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering—it will take
lasting root.”
Second reading: Col. 3: 12-17
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing
with in another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against
another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the
bond of perfection. And let the peace of
Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one
body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly,
as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and
spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do
everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through him.”
“When they had departed, behold, the angle of the Lord
appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Rise, take the child and his mother,
flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you.
Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him.’ Joseph rose and took the child and his mother
by night and departed for Egypt. He
stayed there until the death of Herod, that what the Lord had said through the
prophet might be fulfilled, ‘Out of Egypt I called my son.’
“When Herod had died, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared
in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Rise, take the child and his mother
and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child’s life are
dead.’ He rose, took the child and his
mother, and went to the land of Israel.
But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his
father Herod, he was afraid to go back there.
And because he had been warned in a dream, he departed for the region of
Galilee. He went and dwelt in a town
called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be
fulfilled, ‘He shall be called a Nazorean.’”
Introductory theme summary:
The common theme of today’s readings commemorating the Holy
Family, obviously, relates to the honor and respect due to fathers and mothers
ideally represented by the examples of Joseph and Mary. Interestingly, the second reading, which
expresses how we are all expected to treat one another in all things in order
to fulfil the expectation of those who would qualify as being ‘chosen,’ ‘holy,’
or ‘beloved’ in Christ, is appropriately included with these two readings
because this circumstance of family provides the most challenging situation for
most of us to apply that condition.
Reflection:
Having come from a divorced family, the concept of family
was always a difficult concept for me to appreciate. Not that I didn’t try. I did.
But when one’s understanding of family requires their parents to remain
married after becoming divorced, it’s just impossible to resolve that
circumstance. This is not, however, an
insurmountable circumstance to overcome in order to still acquire a sense of
family for one’s self.
I spent years struggling to reconcile the divisive effect my
parent’s divorce caused within myself. I
seemed always stuck between choosing between sides. This wasn’t just with respect to who I lived
with or even which one I was closest to, but also even to the depths of which
one I was most like and how I felt about those likenesses.
I imagine this is much more common for others than I ever
realized while I was going through the struggle on my own. I’m not sure how common my solution to the
obstacle was compared to others, but it had significant benefits for me so I
feel it’s worth sharing. As a
consequence of doing so, I am breaking from my usual approach to my Sunday
Reflections. My apologies for those, if
any, who prefer the other.
I remember sitting one day reflecting on this very struggle,
when it occurred to me; instead of either/or it was actually both. In other words: instead of deciding which one
I was most like I simply needed to accept that I was like both, and not apologize
to either one for also being like the other.
This ultimately led me to realize the real conflict was simply within
myself. All the while the obstructing
illusion caused me to mistakenly presume, if they couldn’t accomplish a
peaceful relationship between each other, I couldn’t find peace within myself
because I was like both. If, however, I
could resolve the conflict of their differences that existed within myself,
their inability to reconcile their differences became irrelevant. By finding peace within myself I accomplished
complete resolution for myself. In
essence, I became able where there were not, in so far as I possessed their
likenesses, which, in their defense, is considerably different from two
separate individuals.
This then freed me to begin a new relationship with both of
my parents that was completely independent of the other and their failed
marriage. Only now do I begin to
actually supplement for myself a sense of family by accomplishing a closeness with
both of my parents within the singularity of my own individual heart. Now, the respect due to my mother and father
has become very easy for me; and it gives me great pleasure to both honor and
love both of my parents despite their faults, which, I must add, WE ALL HAVE.
I don’t presume that everyone’s divorced family circumstance
is the same by any means, but I do desire to communicate the possibility of accomplishing
family for those who come from divorce, and do so without having to abandon the
traditional understanding of family as our present society would seem to suggest
by celebrating so many alternatives to it.
If one can accomplish peace within one’s self towards all other members
of his or her family, whether they are at peace with each other or not, isn’t
that what being a family is ultimately about; loving and caring for each other
enough to actually be at peace for everyone’s benefit?
Come, let us celebrate our own families as they actually are,
with all their faults; and in so
doing we will accomplish family is it was meant to be, imperfect but true by virtue
of sincerity!
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